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The Joys of Art

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Dreams

About two months ago I had a dream that my friend's daughter had died....I didn't even know that she was pregnant as she is a big girl....I also dreamed in that dream that I had an older daughter who lived states away (California to be exact....My family had custody of my dad's third cousin from 18 months old to the time he was 18 years old) and that I had informed others that I was now ready to care for her and wanted her back but they informed that my daughter had been murdered....I don't have an older child but my son and I have never had an abortion or even a miscarriage or even an unplanned pregnancy so a literal interpretation of that dream is impossible....Several events happened during the beginning of the new year and it is those events that are to be interpreted in that dream....The fact that I let a dream (decison) to have more kids die and in fact it was helped by certain events in my life especially recent ones...The problem is that I still wrestle with guilt from all the separations frommy son that was due to being in the military....I will always feel that Black women in general have much more to internalize than White women do...But the dream still troubled me....Today I was reading the Sunday paper and listed in the obituaries was the funeral notice for her daughter....She was less than three months old....I feel sorry for those who can't even see the significance of events that are happening in the world....Let's hope that your conscience hasn't been seared as with a hot iron....You have too many people who are seeing and screaming out the same things and yet you still march on as though it is yet another day....2006 will prove to make a believer out of many people except the hard hearted folks....

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