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The Joys of Art

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Salary White Men....

Man are there some arrogant ones out there...Yes there a a few salaried Black men out there and they can be just as arrogant also...I was warned that the boat pilots are arrogant and want to buck my refinery's rules....Less than two hours after being told that I had my first encounter....He marched into my office, flashed his badge and demanded to be taken down to the docks immediately....Damn do I look like I am driving Miss Daisy?!!! I asked him for more information and he just blew me off by telling me "I don't give out that information"....At this point I made a call for him to be escorted and I am standing there dumfounded because of what has just gone down...He knew that I was standing there trying to process all this shit so he walks out the door and says "thank you"....

Now I hear these men make over $450,000 a year....They think their shit doesn't stink obviously.....They are basically part of an exclusive little club in Louisiana that has for years tried to keep Blacks and even a nun out of their little group...But this nun had her pilot's license for years and when she turned around and sued their asses they saw Jesus or even differently for that matter...Now I hear they want over $500,000 in the form of a raise to navigate that muddy water in Louisiana and in the Gulf...WTF!!!

About eight hours later a Lincoln showed up with their driver and three pilots in there....The driver came inside and gave all his information....When he told me he had three of them in the car I was like just give me their information because I really didn't want to be triple timed with three arrogant jerks in my office at once...LOL....Yes...I was told that MOST of them are jerks...I mean come on if you have historically tried to deny Blacks and recently even a nun from your little circle and they had to bring suit against your asses you must be a club full of arrogant jerks...Hello!!! And the thing about it is Louisiana for years let them get away with the stuff they do...They have been in the paper a lot lately and they are mad at the refineries because they are demanding more money and the refineries don't want to put out....Sounds like they get paid enough as it is....I am the one that doesn't get paid enough to let the jerks grate my nerves....Sigh...End of story...

Friday, February 25, 2005

Pull up to the bumper baby....

in your long black limousine.....How are you going to invite your fellow co-workers to meet you at a roadhouse and you aren't even there on time and damn near an hour late?? Hmmmmm....You were late because you were riding around in your best friend's boyfriend's limousine.....

I had dinner with several co-workers last night and about four people in of the party were late because they were having fun riding around and smoking a joint in the back of a limousine....My co-worker claims she didn't smoke anything...She'd betta not since we are subject to random drug testing...The same co-worker has a best friend who is apparently dating a very sucessful Black man in town--he was there at the restaurant also...He owns several transmission places and a funeral home--hence the limo....White girls crack me up sometimes...My co-worker is dating a Black man also...My co-worker kept stressing to us that her friend was dating a millionaire....She said it so many times that she was even pissing off our White male co-workers that were having dinner with us....LOL....Ol' girl (her girlfriend) ain't even told her parents she is dating a married (going through a divorce) Black (Black!!) man....I was told by my co-worker that her best friend was taught to think Black people were low down and dirty after all I do live in the Dirty (deep) South....Funny how money changes people....She betta get hip to the fact that this guy probably is not going to share his bling bling with her...After all, he has alimony and child support to be looking forward to....He had his driver bring him home early because he was tired from preparing a funeral that day....I think that was around the time that I said that I know what authentic Mexican food is because after all I was married to one.... After he was dropped off it was "girls night out"....Most of them didn't have to work the next day and the girlfriend was going in to work at 11:00 a.m. the next day (some of us aren't able)..Me, I had to be to work at 5 am so I brought my Black ass home afterwards....

The only other Black person that was there said that he was going to this club afterwards....I hear he didn't go there (So they say)... So why did he call in sick this morning?? I had to work a part of the refinery with him today....He probably went to the strip club that they went to Superbowl day....Laughing Out Loud at one of our co-workers that came in talking to him in code language about them planning to go out to the strip club 3 straight days in a row next month...I already knew what they were talking about because this White guy (who works with me) who is dating a Black girl who is from Louisiana (that's why he relocated) told me that they went to this certain club....Black men have been talking in code to one another ever since slavery and not always in the Black woman's best interest.....LOL at the thought of them trying to talk above my head and LOL at the White male co-worker for telling me that he was bored at the strip club because no Black women stripped there just flat asses

Now you see why I love birds so much---they are much easier to understand unlike Black men and their double standards....SMFH...Now Michael Jackson is catching the "heat round" and the jury is stacked against him....There will be NO Blacks on your jury Michael---so sorry for ya....If you molested kids then you need to go down PERIOD!!! IN the end Debbie Rowe gets your money, Paris and Prince, Michael....You only get prison time....And for the record I think OJ knew (or had something to do with it) something about Nicole's murder....But nevertheless he was found innocent and I can accept the verdict but then again I was not related to Nicole and Ron...

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Beer with a healthy twist???

Budweiser has come up with a beer enriched with caffeine, ginseng,guarana extract and natural flavors....I hear it is good for about $1.30 a 10 ounce can....The store said that one girl came and bought all they had gotten in....Word to the other beer companies: YOU ARE BEHIND THE POWER CURVE GET WITH IT!!!Some folks not only want to drink responsibly but also healthy.... Me, I don't know if I should drink it or collect the can.....

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


I love those confetti eggs...The first time I cracked one over my son's head he was so shocked and wanted to cry....I quickly told him that that is what you are supposed to to and then I let him crack one over my head...These are confetti eggs that are drained of the yolks and whites, washed and left to dry, filled with confetti and decorated with tissue paper....


Many cultures have a tradition of colored eggs, especially around Easter. In Mexico it's common to see colored eggs thrown at fiestas during carnaval, just before lent. They're not hard boiled like the eggs in the US Easter egg tradition. Instead they're eggs that have been hollowed out and have a surprise filling - called cascarones. It's a tradition that's said to originate in Italy, when men would toss hollow eggs filled with perfume at women they were attracted to. In Mexico, you can still see this behavior among young men and women.

You might not see cascarones at the carnaval celebrations in the US, but like many other Latino traditions they have merged with US holiday traditions. Many Latino families have started coloring eggs just like any other family in the US. Rather than boiling them though, they're emptied out and filled with confetti or toys. Imagine the kids finding an egg at the easter egg hunts and instead of filling up on boiled eggs or throwing them away, the kids find small toys inside or have an additional game of "tag" by covering their friends with confetti and egg shell.

Making Cascarones

Open the top of the egg.
You can do this using pins, a small nail or a knife.
Since it will be touching food, remember to sterilize whatever you use by running it over a flame.
Do it over a bowl so you can use the egg in a meal.
If you're placing toys or candy in the eggs, you'll want a larger hole to fit them in.
If you're placing confetti in the egg, then you can place a small hole on each end and use a spoon to fill the egg.
Rinse out the inside of the egg.
Use egg dye, water colors, acrylic or finger paint to decorate the eggs (Be Gentle)
After the eggs dry, place a little glue around the edges of the opening and close it with a piece of tissue paper.
With the egg you emptied out, you can make Migas, Flan or another dish with egg in it.

--by Richard L Vázquez--

Monday, February 21, 2005

A day late and a dollar short...

Fucking H & R Block.....They were supposed to have my money in 8 to 15 days.....Why is that after filing my return on the 5th of this month I MIGHT (as the lady put it) have it here by Wednedsay, Thursday or Friday.....Grrrrr....This is a refund anticipation loan and they can't even guarantee when it is going to come in?!!! I think they should refund me the difference of filing it regularly (six to eight week refund) for being so damn inept.....I mean today is 16 days later.....Do the math 21-5=16....Hello!!! And they wonder why Black women are so fucking angry all the time....Shit we need our money to feed our chillren....Talk about Diary of a Mad Black Woman...Well Norplant is removed after having it in for 5 years....Now we are using depo-provera (lol at we--see how I am so inclusive)....I really don't want any more kids at the moment....Men nowdays are so different from our fathers....Actually I like living alone (with my son in tow of course)and I don't have to share my shit with anyone....My ex-husband had the incessant need to hog the remote and channel surf....He would go to anybody's house and take over the tv...I guess that is why today I really don't watch that much tv...Now days I quickly put mofos out if they get to acting stupid....There was a time when I knew what I wanted and I was on track to get it...But then compromises and settling for less set in and as a result I forgot who I was and what I wanted and became a shell of myself....When it seemed as though I wouldn't find Prince Charming I settled for Prince Alarming....Sigh....Not anymore...After many years of self-imposed exile the old Sharon is back and there will be no half-stepping....

Lazy ass men who won't work, bounce around from job to job and/or won't take care of your kids--get to stepping....Men who do drugs, junkies, who are abusive, hang out in gangs, the streets, street corners, "they boy crib" all the time, clubs (ALL the time with their boys), carry guns, knives, have weed fetishes and love to blow shot gun hits with their FEMALE next door neighbors (such as a guy I dated back in 1990 did while I was out of town taking the Law School Admissions Test--funny how things changed after I got back and I then had to call before coming over instead of just dropping by...I am pretty certain that it was not only the weed that he hit that weekend and didn't that guy work for Boeing?!!), men who know all the current street names for drugs---(exceptions are cute narcotics agents and policemen)--I don't need your asses around....AND NO I DON'T THINK IT IS COOL THAT YOUR COUSIN GAVE YOU A BOTTLE CONTAINING THE REST OF HIS CODEINE TABLETS AND EVEN WORSE IF YOU TELL ME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO SELL THEM IN THE CLUB!!!

Bi-sexual, bi-curious, ie men who have had sex with another man even one time since 1977--you are not my type....I have nothing against you but I refuse to engage in sex with men in high risk categories--in otherwords, we can hang (out) but we can't bang.....Men that love speed, weed, crack, heroin, cocaine, codeine, percocet, exastcy, date rape drugs and whatever else controlled (or illegal) substance that you need to float your boat, starship, or mothership--GUESS WHO WON'T BE COMING TO DINNER....I don't care if you are chiefin and you have the munchies....Find somewhere else to dine...

Men who feel the need to smoke cigarettes in the house or the car---I don't care if you roll the window down in the car or turn the blower on in the bathroom---the only thing smoking in my house is fajitas...I don't care if we are married and you hang the marriage certificate on the wall--smoking in the house is not debatable--IT IS SET IN STONE...It is not that cold/hot outside and by the same token men that roll the car windows down to smoke while driving leaving the rest of the occupants of the car freezing or gasping for air because it is so hot and humid outside are selfish and pathetic....You can pull the car over for 5 minutes step outside and burn one....Men who feel the need to stick their dicks in everything that is female and walks---drive on Tyrone---Ever heard of STDs??? The same applies to playas, thugs and mac daddies...If you see me walking down the street "walk on by"--keep trotting....These are the same mofos that have a million plus kids and don't take care of any of them....Some of these men could have their very own personal million man march....

Well these are a few of my "un"favorite things...I am sure that the list could be much longer but these are the most non-debatable things I can think of at the moment and oh by the way did I mention that I like living alone (with son in tow of course)?? :o)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

If that mockingbird doesn't sing...

You can always teach him to share (most of the time)....My co-worker tells me that I have the mockingbird trained....This bird will actually stand right beside me and wait until I finish putting food down before he goes for it....He is always the first one at the table....He loves green apples....He will stand there for 10 minutes at a time pecking at an apple core that I throw out...You can actually see him swallowing the tiny little chunks of apple down his throat...Mr. Mockingbird doesn't even act up anymore....He hardly raises hell with neither the sparrows nor the grackles.....He doesn't eat the bird seed that I feed the sparrows so that is not a problem....When the grackles try and take over he doesn't raise hell anymore because he knows I am there to scare them off (Notice the grackle on the web page with the twinkle in it's eye)...He just continues to peck away at the apple core....He doesn't mind the sparrows getting some of the apple and other treats after he has had enough...Two days ago I thought he was going to choke himself to death---all you saw was throat...He tried to swallow down a piece of cracker that was too big for him to swallow....It really pissed him off and after that he relentlessly broke larger pieces of cracker into more digestible bites.....Does the mockingbird sing??? Hell yes....It is the beginning of mating season....

Friday, February 18, 2005

This is a good article...

MORRIS O'KELLY: "I Celebrate Black Responsibility Month"

This moment in Black History is brought to you by Mr. Mo’Kelly…angry Black man.

The viewpoints contained below are not necessarily shared by the publisher…yada, yada, yada.

Moving right along…

Is anyone in Hip-Hop responsible for ANYTHING in which they do? Honestly, is there one thing that Hip-Hop claims responsibility for in the wake of their actions both personally or as a collective art?

Let’s look at recent history…

Murphy Lee was pulled over for expired tags and 35 grams of marijuana were allegedly found in his Mercedes in late October of 2004. He was also charged with driving under the influence of drugs. The subsequent press report was that Lee would eventually plead ‘not guilty’ to the charges.


There has been no public statement from Lee as to why or how the 35 grams of marijuana ‘miraculously’ appeared or why officers charged him with driving under the influence of drugs.

Yes, yes, I know…don’t believe everything you read. At the same time, let’s not disregard common sense. It’s more than slightly difficult to fabricate 35 grams of marijuana, a failed field sobriety test and expired tags in 2005. I doubt Murphy
Lee is worth that much effort. I may be wrong…

But I doubt it. I wouldn’t recognize Murph’ if he passed me on the street and
I doubt the police would either.

Rap moguls Irv and Chris Gotti were arrested in January of this year then released on a $1 million bond for allegedly laundering more than $1 million in drug proceeds.

Despite the exceptionally long paper trail detailing money laundering and racketeering leading to the charges against ‘Murder, Inc.;’ the pair entered
their plea accordingly…

‘Not guilty.’

Of course, no one ever is.

"I'm gonna give you guys one comment. I want to make it very crystal clear”

(“Very” crystal clear?...as opposed to “somewhat” crystal clear?)

“That I don't look [badly] at the government in any way, shape or form for them thinking I'm doing anything wrong. I call myself Gotti, I made my label Murder Inc., I grew up poor, from the street. But I don't look bad at them for thinking ill things of me. In no way have I done anything wrong except make great music that people seem to love. That's all I'm guilty of."

- (the victim/martyr/English major/Poet Laureate) Irv Gotti

Right, this is all just one big misunderstanding…and there isn’t one scintilla of truth to ANY of the charges. Once again, Hip-Hop is being unfairly singled out.

Of course it is…

DMX…well, he comes out smelling like a rose (sort of) in this instance. He did manage to at least plead GUILTY to DUI and reckless endangerment, driving an unregistered vehicle and third-degree assault. That’s the good/mature news.


DMX (my man Earl) was arrested one week later for driving 104 in a 65 mph zone with his suspended license and again, unregistered vehicle.

David Darnell Brown, a.k.a. ‘Young Buck’ pleaded not guilty in January of this year to a charge of assault with a deadly weapon at the Vibe Awards. You know, he’s the Brotha accused of stabbing someone with a knife at a televised award party. Yeah, that dude.

Despite the fact that the incident was recorded on videotape, we’ll just have to disregard insignificant minutia like that and take Buck at his word.

In addition to the plea of ‘not guilty,’ Mr. Brown did manage to tell reporters outside the courthouse to “go buy my album.”

Nice to see that he (and Hip-Hop) have their priorities in order.

But wait, there’s more…

And speaking of shameless self-promotion while facing felony charges…

Master P and brother Silkk the Shocker were recently arrested at UCLA after police discovered two loaded guns in their leased Chrysler.

Master P in his inimitable lack of wisdom had this to say:

"Black man with gun, white cop panic,” P said in a statement. “I'm a businessman. If the cops stopped panicking for one minute, they would've realized that the guns were registered, and that is legal in America.

"What did they expect me to be carrying? A can of mace? If you really want the real story, pick up 'The Truth' on Feb. 22, and my upcoming solo record, 'The Ghetto Bill Gates.' "Everybody knows we from the ghetto, so hopefully this will be the last time a story is made of this minor incident. It's a different way of life for a person of color with money than it is for others with money."

I don’t know if anybody has broken the news to Percy or his brother Silkk Miller … but they were NOT arrested for possessing unregistered guns. They were arrested and charged with carrying concealed weapons without a permit, which is a felony in California. The fact that the guns were registered only served to keep other charges from being included in the arrest report. That’s like being arrested for drunk driving and telling the rest of us…

“The car was registered.”


That’s neither here nor there. The registration (or lack thereof) wasn’t the felony in question.

The fact that he and his brother are ‘from the ghetto’ is pretty much irrelevant too and pretty ignorant reasoning to boot. It’s a felony in California ghettos and California suburbs too. And for those unfamiliar with California geography, UCLA is in the heart of Westwood, one of the more affluent and non-Black areas in all of California. He wasn’t in the ghetto, just FYI.

You know, as they say…’when in Rome…’

This was not a racism issue, it was an ignorance issue. Any lawyer will tell you that ignorance of the law does not absolve your responsibility or culpability when you break it.

But of course, it’s because white cops who ‘panicked,’ not two rappers who had no business (or legal right) carrying concealed weapons in their car. Percy will have you believe that it’s not a felony (and not a major deal) supposedly because the ‘ghetto’ has certain rules that other places don’t. Of course Percy…it ‘ain’t your fault;’ just like Silkk Miller said on wax.

It never is.

Not only that, in his released public statement detailing his felony arrest, he took a page out of Young Buck’s book and used the opportunity to advertise his upcoming album release at the end of the month.

Nice to see that he (and Hip-Hop) have their collective priorities in order.

But wait…there’s more…

Suge Knight was arrested this past Saturday evening in Barstow, CA and booked on suspicion of violating his parole. Allegedly marijuana was found in his truck during a traffic stop. He was also cited for not having liability insurance.

If that wasn’t enough…

A ‘woman’ in the vehicle was also arrested for providing fake identification to police. Yeah, THAT’S always a good idea. The police ask who you are, the driver is on parole with no automotive insurance (liability insurance is the law in CA), there’s weed in the truck…and your dumb a$$ decides to give the police a fake ID.

There’s been no official statement, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the story will be was that it was the cops’ fault.

It always is…

Mind you, all of the aforementioned took place in just the past four months alone.

I don’t have time to talk about Shyne and his ten year sentence or how he’s spent his time in his cell ‘battling’ 50 Cent. My priorities are in order, even if Shyne’s aren’t. I won’t even mention how he wants to leave Def Jam but can’t concentrate on leaving his jail cell first and foremost.

I’m sure many of you are wondering where I’m going with this. Here is your answer.

Many in Hip-Hop want to liken the slew of arrests and police scrutiny to the surveillance of African-American civil rights leaders of the 60’s. MTV News produced a piece detailing an alleged special NYPD task force to specifically monitor Hip-Hop activity. Hip-Hop will have you believe that its members are being unfairly targeted from a business and personal activity standpoint.

Maybe…maybe not. But the moment you stop rolling with weed and guns in your car is the moment you might get arrested fewer times. The moment you stop trying to car-jack innocent people at airports and speeding down the highway at 104 mph, is the moment you might get arrested fewer times. The moment you stop stabbing other black men with dinner knives at award shows, is the moment you just might avoid getting arrested for the same.

Funny how that works.

I’m not sure why is it that when people stop engaging in felonious activity they stop getting charged with felons; but for whatever reason, there’s a definite correlation. Fat people who stop eating, get skinny. Felonious people who stop committing felonies stay out of jail for felonies. The math is simple and the logic indisputable.

I’ve been stopped and harassed by police. I’ve been searched and ridiculed. But since I don’t smoke weed and don’t carry a concealed weapon, ‘surprisingly’ enough I’ve never been charged with either. It’s understanding the nature of the beast and being smart enough not to feed it freely.

There is a common and recurring theme here. Hip-Hop just isn’t responsible for anything. Their artists aren’t responsible for their lyrics as allegedly ‘the labels’ make them write music of a certain nature. It’s the A&R reps and promotion executives’ fault.

I’m here to tell you, since personally working at Interscope, Capitol, Warner Bros., Virgin/Rap-A-Lot record labels…I can say unequivocally that that’s just another untrue urban legend that continues to be passed around like bad internet chain letters.

Stop it, it’s just not true.

Does Hip-Hop take responsibility for ANYTHING? Its words, its imagery, its misogyny, its arrests…anything? Is there anything or any negativity that Hip-Hop is willing to admit to fostering or perpetuating?

This is Black History Month but I don’t celebrate it anymore. I like to think of February as Black Responsibility Month. This is the month in which we must take stock of our collective actions and the responsibility that associated with it.

I care less about who knows who created the stoplight and more about who ran the stoplight with weed in the car and weapons under the seat. The latter is having more of an affect on our community than the ignorance of the former.

I despise the audacity of those who would liken the misfortunes of Hip-Hop today to the REAL injustices of the 60’s. The juxtaposition of Hip-Hop lawlessness with civil rights progressiveness is not only absurd, but insulting. Don’t take my word for it, just go to google.com and input “rapper arrested” in the search engine. You tell me what comes up.

We have millions of youth who seem to put more stock in Nas telling people that they shouldn’t vote or seek higher education and less stock in the fact our forefathers and mothers died for the right to both. That is ignorance and insanity beyond measure. We need to address what’s going on right now in our world…more so than what did go on once upon a time.

Black History Month should be of less importance than Black reality right now. That may sound unconventional, if not controversial even. There needs to be a sense of urgency as to whom and what is serving as the educational forces for our children in the here and now. Do we really know and understand who is educating our children and what lies in the hearts of our children today? Are we ever going to finally take responsibility for ourselves and each another?

Black History Month is fine and good. It definitely has a place in our lives and fulfills a need in feeding our historical conscience. Yet, if we’re spending the other 11 months out of the year acting like fools, blaming everyone else except ourselves…all the ‘history’ in the world won’t do jack to help our future.

The hypocrisy must stop. Let’s stop giving awards to the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan at the Source Awards and then effectively dishonoring him at the Vibe Awards. Black History is right now and we’re making plenty of it.

... The wrong kind.

Morris W. O'Kelly is a freelance entertainment writer who writes content for entertainment personality websites and national media. You can always reach him at: dark.gable@sbcglobal.net. He welcomes all comments.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Back in Stride Again...

Shall I go and see Maze in concert or shall I pay 100 bucks to visit by bus trip the famous Cane River plantations??? That is the questions....I will most likely take my son with me so it will be 200 bucks...I sure want to go down to visit the Cane River plantations though if I am off that weekend...Lalita Tademy wrote a book recommended by ophrah's Book Club called "Cane River...."You'll see the sense of our ways, the advantages of how we do things, after you've been here a while, Eugene," Suzette's owner tells a (free, white) newcomer from France. "The plantation is the fulfillment of God's design."

Lalita Tademy used to be vice-president of Sun Micro Systems...I am sure many of you computer nerds and gurus have heard of Sun Micro Systems

by: nonamesagain 02/18/05 12:03 pm
Msg: 6860 of 7697

Cajun's are white. The word Cajun (Arcadians)came from the the local Indians in Louisiana. How in the hell do you have a name with Cajun in it? Your Masta must have given it to you. Read your local history retard.

Another Nigga wanting to be white.

Posted as a reply to: Msg 6831 by truleyevil666

Well we all know there will be a future blog posting on this....Since I have a doctor's appointment at 1:00 pm today I'll have to reserve it for later.....I have been meaning to talk about hypodescent and how it has practically destroyed African Americans, the meaning of history and culture to us and our perceptions of ourselves and the world....I am so glad that Hispanics do not fall for the propaganda (the okie doke by the US census and other government and non-government officials bent on separating, dividing and conquering Latinos)....Like N.O.R.E. says "It doesn't matter your race as long as you're Latino..."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Root Causes

I had to fucking write this again because Blogger didn't even post it the fucking first time....I'd better not have to write it over after this time....You only get one chance to burn me.....

What I had to fucking say was very long and lenghty....I hope I can remember it all...

I was going to entitle this "generational curses" but that sounds soooo Pat Robertson....I know that Pat doesn't give a shit about me, my family or other's families....He is only into nepotism and raking in money...This post has to do with how families are destroyed and made dysfunctional thanks to root causes....Take my ex-husband's family....His father Antonio has succeeded in destroying his family because of the fact that his father Barney abandoned him as a teenager along with six other children after his first wife died in chidbirth...Barney went on to re-marry and have eight more kids....Antonio obviously felt abandoned....What did he do??? Become a better peson because of it??? No...It made him a bitter, resentful, distant and grudge holding person....He is still upset (and it is a very sore spot with him) that his wife left him 25 years ago and moved back to Houston to be near her family....Now her brother has died and he wants to make the trip from San Antonio to Houston to attend the funeral....He just wants to go there and be mean...This man is in ill health and would need someone to drive him from San Antonio to Houston...Antonio has managed to make his kids into being just the same way that he is but it is kinda ironic that they truly resent him also...He is the main reason why my ex-husband will NEVER grow up...Now my ex wants to learn to fly helicopters at age 41.....WTF ever dude....I have already warned my son that he will not go up in one with his dad....My son told me that was no problem because he hates that height stuff anyway....LOL...Helicopter pilot yeah right...He is scared of heights so how is he going to fly a helicopter??? He got drunk and rowdy on a plane bound for Korea when he was in the military back in 1995 and they threathened to report him....Why did he get drunk??? Because he hated flying....Lawd Help!!! I hate to sound so non-supportive but my ex-husband has burned so many career bridges that he is just simply searching for shit to be employed in....

Getting to my family....My grandmother had 12 kids (9 boys and 3 girls) and I can't for the life of me figure out why two of the children (girls--my mother and one of her sisters) chose to play "favorites" with their own children...How did it leave some of their other children feeling??? It made them feel un-loved and as a result they chose to distance themselves from their relatives.... As you might know my mother and I don't have the most mother-daughterly relationship on the planet...I was surprised that she and I didn't have but one conflict during the 8 days we were on vacation....If you challenge her she tells you how God is going to kill you, hurt you, or do some thit to you....Well, I told her that we didn't fly on a plane but rather it was a jet....She called me "Miss Siditty" and said that God was going to punish me...She definitely has a plantation mentality.....She uses the same kind of psychological shit that White Enslavers used to psychological break African slaves....Remember that she told me that birthcontrol was evil and evil doctors were pushing this on people....She had me out of wed-lock but they got married a month after I was born so that allows her keep her pious attitude about things....

Sometimes "He who laughs last laughs the best"....While spending the night at the hotel Saturday before departing from Florida I had the priviledge to witness some stuff that truly amazed me....My brother Kevin drove down from South Carolina to Orlando and left his Mercedes-Benz with his girlfriend...He brought her to the hotel that night and introduced her to us....He introduced her to my mother as his girlfriend who loves to "drink, get drunk and play dominoes"....Kevin is a very private and very much withdrawn person...The girl was obviously drunk....In fact you could tell she was drunk from a mile away....She looks like she is of Black and Hispanic origin---probably Puerto Rican and you know those chicas (Hispanic women) have an attitude....On a side note: Black women are becoming more and more a shell of themselves thanks to society, the media, Black men and even our own Black mothers (who should be teaching us to be strong, independent Black women)...Trust me, my mother didn't have shit to say about her most beloved son Dwayne spending seven days aboard a cruise ship alone with his girlfriend in a room....And what do most people do when they are alone with a significant other in such a romantic situation---well, they fuck right?!!! Make love, have sex, fuck, call it what you will!!! Last year when I was 36 she slapped me and called me a whore for having sex with my boyfriend....My brother's girlfriend likes to dance and have a good time....Her parents were on the cruise ship and they seem like the kinda people that have raised a strong, independent daughter...If you check out my pics on Yahoo I took several pics of her dancing....I have several pics of me in a crop top and jeans...Last year my mother told me that going out the house dressed like that would cause those dirty old men to lust after me....I was age 36 and I didn't invent Viagra...My brother's girlfriends look like they would be a match for my mother and I think that she will eventually meet with her own "waterloo" under the hands of her own revered sons (significant others)....LOL.....But it will serve her right....LOL....You can't disagree.....

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

DEYA DIRECT! What Are Women Afraid Of?
By Deya Smith-Starks

February 10, 2005

Beyond the seemingly steel cloak of the strong Black woman, inside we are unique individuals that long for happy lives full of love, personal and professional satisfaction. We often get stereotyped as being too hard and too complex; perhaps we are. But every species has a protection mechanism to shield them from perceived hurt, harm, or danger.

You may take a chance and walk outside coatless on a winter day because the sun was shining. But once you're outside and the harsh wind hits you enough, you learn to wear a coat for protection despite the shine. Show me a hard woman and I'll show you a woman that's been hurt deeply, or at the very least who's learned some serious lessons about life. One thing I know, we women fear a lack of security. We need to feel safe. We do not want to be left out in the cold alone, vulnerable and defenseless.

Again, this is an opening conversation about our fears. We can't deal or overcome anything without first identifying what's going on inside of us. Last week after talking to men about their fears where they identified issues such as: fear of commitment, fear of financial security, fear of rejection and even fear of success; I concluded that the overriding theme was that men were afraid to lose (see last week's article at www.DeyaDirect.com). You may agree or disagree with my hypothesis which is fine. I look forward to continuing the dialogue.

As a sista that's been deemed a strong black woman, I must tell you that sometimes I am completely terrified by how fragile I feel when the storms of life nearly knock me down. Regardless of the love and support that I have, there are times when I feel that I am out here all alone without a clear sense of when I'll be rescued. Faith and experience have taught me that I will overcome and that things will work out for the good. But in the meantime, when we feel lost and unprotected, nothing is more terrifying.

I talked to my women friends about what they were afraid of and their top answers were: being lonely, not alone; being taken advantage of, personally and professionally; and lack of financial and emotional support. This is how I concluded that women fear not having safety and security. As girls we're taught that we were to be protected not the protectors. But as life would have it, particularly for Black women, we've been forced to protect ourselves, our children, and our interests at all costs when no one else was there to do it. Regardless of what we were taught or innately desired, we must do or die. When the stakes of your life become that high on a regular basis, of course rigidity and a hard cloak will begin to form. It's called self-preservation. Having a hard shell has helped us to survive. At the same time, it has hurt us because for many it's not malleable enough to soften, change or let anyone else in. As a result, the very thing(s) that we say we want, we reject because the fear of its impact overcomes us. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment (1 John 4:4).

We must all find the balance for ourselves between what we want, what we need, and the steps that we must take to get there. We can't afford to have success allude us because of the fear factor. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I do know that we can find solutions better by opening up, talking and working together.

If you're out there and you hear me and feel me, then holla back.

Deya Direct is the author of an upcoming book titled: "Politickin' 101: Girlfriend-Style!" She is a political activist, commentator, motivational speaker, and radio personality.

For more info on Deya Direct! e-mail deya@deyadirect.com or log on to www.DeyaDirect.com

Ain't this the truth!!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Greetings from the ocean....

We were in St. Maarten/Martin today....Having fun folks....I am trying to get rid of the sploches on my skin because of the ringworms....Yes...Folks I was using suntan lotion so there......:o)~~~I had my brother take a pic of me with my son....The sun was not as hot as it was in St.Thomas, V.I...The rum punch really fucked me up here in St. Maarten/Martin.... I was like fucked up most of the day....I swear I didn't drink that much!!!! I swear!!!

To me perfumes and such smell more fragrant when you are on the ocean....I don't know why but it is true for me.....

p.s. I have lots of pics....

Saturday, February 05, 2005


I am here in Orlando, Florida and it is was a hell of a trip....We flew in a jet....Sweet!!! The jet was not the problem but rather one of daddy's friends he invited on the cruise...Don't get me wrong I don't hate the woman but she never stops fucking talking or worrying about shit....I never knew this woman before today...She has migranes and she excites herself so damn much that she had hot flashes at the airport and passed out on the jet....On top of that she has had this happen to her before and she didn't take her meds today...I know this because the I could hear the person that assisted her talking about her...Damn if he was a doctor he was cute--but he was married...Sigh...Sigh...I am sharing a room with her and her daughter and my mother...I am here writing downstairs because she is still up stairs talking and worrying about her bags and stuff....I also came down stairs to read a book...I know she is still awake because their pizza just arived...I guess she is up there running her mouth and eating piza...Everytime she wants something out of her bags she goes off into a nervous fit....Hell there must be 12 diffrent bags in the room and it just so happens that she and her daughter have the same kind of luggage as me and my son....Why the hell do I need to get in an uproar just because she chooses to?? I came downstairs to read a book and have peace of mind...I hate talking about people but I will be glad to get my ass on that damn ship....

Thursday, February 03, 2005

God Bless the chile that's got his own...

If some of you would read my friend Kenya's weblog you would see that she and I are carbon-copies of one another for the most part....Kenya once told me that her mother hated her....Well, I would swear that mine hates me also....If you my blog readers would recall from a previous post that she slapped me and called me a whore because at age 37 I had the audacity to be having sex with my boyfriend (who is now my ex-boyfriend)..."Mr. Insecurity" (the ex-boyfriend) noticed this mother-daughter conflict and played it to his advantage....He would have conversations with my own mother about me...But he didn't understand that my mother takes no prisoners....What she did to me she was going to do to him in full effect also--that is if he managed to stay around long enough...On a side note: I guarantee that she won't be calling neither my brother nor his girlfriend a whore on the cruise....You all might not know it but we are going on a 7 day cruise--the whole immediate family along with some friends that work with my dad and my brother's girlfriend and her mother and father....My brother is sharing a room with his girlfriend....He is younger than me and he is truly her favorite son....Really, he is....All her sons are more revered than I am....Trust me folks, she has been harboring a bitter taste against me ever since the day I was born and coupled with that I wasn't born a male child...Yesterday, she started on me about the evils of birth-control....This woman has never even used a tampon in her life...She listens to all that pathetic ass shit those crazy ass White evangelists on tv tell you....Like they are considering the plight of the Black race....

My mother truly has a "plantation mentality"....I mean we live less than 2 hrs away from Houston and most of her brothers and sisters (and their relatives live there) but she has not ONE time ever driven there....They say the first time she went to Houston she cried and she TOOK THE TRAIN!!! THIS WAS BACK IN THE 60'S BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN!! She is truly scared of life and living (now some of you can see why there are things that I saw in Louisiana that I thought were truly weird and scary).....People down here have some strange ways...Example: People would put fucking signs on their homes saying that if you were a woman you couldn't come in their house wearing pants....Hello Taliban!! Yes folks we do have some Bayou Talibans down here!!! Ayeeeeeee!!! Louisiana rednecks have their own strange and scary behavior but that is a topic of the next Jeraldo show...er...I mean weblog....

If you were to tell her that she never prepared me for life, womanhood, career and family she would cuss you out....She is truly innocent according to her...BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HER ANYTHING...My mother has a limited understanding about most things....That comes from living in a state that seems to love it's lousy quality of life, lack of decent education, poverty, racism, lack of job skills training, regressive thinking, and so much more....Trust me folks the list goes on....But please don't tell Governor Blanco this....She doesn't want you to say anything bad about Louisiana to include the fact the many people in this state are so ignorant that they can't even teach their own daughters how to insert a tampon during their periods...I think the next slapping that I get from my mother, Governor Blanco needs to take it instead...On a side note: I think the governor needs to get busy addressing the high rates of infant mortality, childhood poverty and unwanted pregnancies in this state....I do hope she reads this post...

Now it seems that my dad is subject to come into a considerable amount of money...Trust my mother and father both have plans for that money.....I only have plans to turn over a new leaf and flee this state....If I do hang around it will be from a suburb near New Orleans (across state)....But most likely I will try and move near the Carolinas and Virginia where my brothers are...My mother called me and told me to try and get in touch with my father at work because she was recently notified about one of his first settlement checks....Daddy is no fool....I guess I misinterpreted his seemingly annoyance with me for calling him with this information for something else....Hindsight leads me to believe that he was more annoyed with my mother than with me for calling him and letting him know this (In fact he has already been notified about this information)...I'll tell you this....My mother listens to all this shit on television that comes from all those preachers.....My dad doesn't believe in giving them anything financially and hardly anything to finance pastors and churches....He believes money is better spent by helping the community directly...He once knew a man that was killed by an explosion in the refinery that he works at and his wife damn near gave everything to the preachers....The man's family was compensated in a law-suit...My daddy was pretty disgusted with the fact that the woman gave away all her husband's money and only had a fucking trailer to show for it...Trust me, Bush, television evangelists, and politicians are happy to prey on the religious-ignorance of many people in Louisiana...My daddy is NOT about to let that happen with his money and he is not a Bush supporter...That is why he is not really concerned with picking up his first settlement check just yet....I know how much is it and I won't specify here but I wish someone gave me that amount of money...My daddy is kinda pushy in his own ways but he definitely likes and knows how to plan things out....The wheels are spinning in his head over what he is going to do with that check and future settlement checks....I am glad that something useful will more than likely come of it....I am not concerned with getting a dime (although I hope that he considers my son's education and I know that he will because he contacted me about opening an account for my son's education)....My mother would give away most of it to Swaggart and John Hagee, Dr. James Dobson and others and would have nothing to show for it but yet this woman would say that she is truly prepared and that she prepared her kids for life and living...I beg to differ....

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Black History Month....

It is Black History Month...Take time to reflect, honor and celebrate and for those who don't know about or can't seem to remember Black History....."If you don't know you betta ask somebody!!" On that note: Check out Essie Mae Washington Williams new book "Dear Senator".....She is Strom Thurmond's bi-racial daughter...

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Get on with it

Get On With It--The English version

Linda Rondstadt - Y Andale
(written by: Minerva Elizondo)

From the album "Canciones de mi Padre"

What will they say those in your house
When they see me drinking,
Will they think that it's on account of you
That I live my life drinking
Get on with it.

But if you could see
How pretty these binges are
Get on with it.

But until whenever
Your parents stop protecting you
Get on with it.

Each time that I come to see you
I'm always slipping;
Is it that I have bad luck
Or is it that it's drizzling on me,
Get on with it.
But if you could see
Me dry my chaco in my flowering fig tree grove
Get on with it.

But if ever
I dry my chaco in my flowering fig tree grove,
Get on with it.

You say that I'm a fool,
Because i'm always getting drunk,
And in spite of your scorn,
I want to keep on drinking,
Get on with it.

But if you were to see
How pretty these binges are,
Get on with it.

But how beautiful
Are the hours I spend emptying bottles,
Get on with it.