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The Joys of Art

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Cutie with a booty.....Or "The sins of the Fathers" revisited

I think the Indian guy who works at the corner store has the hots for me.....He likes the "junk in the trunk"...He wants me to take him to Louisiana one day when I go....LOL...I barely know the guy....If he wants to gamble, drink beer, and eat some good seafood (over 75 percent of my diet--I eat a lot of seafood) then he is all right with me to hang out with (only)...That is all...

I married out of my race and ethnic group and that has me very "once bitten--twice shy nowdays"....All my ex-husband's Black girlfriends from Louisiana ended up hating his guts...I am at a extreme dislike of him at the moment--well since 1997 to be exact...The audacity of him bringing me home to his family who made me feel unwanted in their home when I first went there... I was called names (such as Black dog), the N word was used and even their big black dog was referred to as "Black girl" that night (and on later occassions)....I had to stay up until after 2 am listening to people calling me names and railing about Blacks and interracial relationships involving Blacks all night....Never no mind that I possessed a college degree and these guests were strung out druggies who did speed and probably didn't even graduate high school...I have never even tried speed or marijuana for that matter....

Of the two guests one was White (female) and the other Mexican (male) and they talked shit all night about the evils of interracial relationships also (never mind that the Mexican and the White girl were dating each other--Mexicans and Whites are all "hunky dorry with each now"???)..That was very scary....This is what Blacks (women) have to put up with all the time over here...

On another occasion (back in 1999 after being divorced and returning to SA via military assignment) I was dating this White guy who looked just like Tom Cruise (Pat was perfect for me)...He was told by Mexicans at the club where he was a bartender that Whites and Mexicans shouldn't be dating Blacks....That attitude of the people around here was one of the reasons he left SA and went back to Kansas.... Unless you are a military Black man-- then your money is as good as the rest and they will pretty much welcome you into the fold.....Black women keep crying and lamenting...

At one time this city boasted five military establishments.....Don't think they will outright bite off the hand that feeds them--that military economy...He (the ex) didn't even stick up for me at all that night I had to hold my own with the help from my brother-in-law's girlfriend Vivian....She has a Black sister-in-law also..I haven't seen her and my niece since 1996....My niece Emily must be about 12 now...The moral of the story: Don't ever marry out of your race or ethnic group to a "punk ass"...

I don't think the other Black girls went through the same in that I don't think they ever went over to his family's house....I am almost positive they didn't go there...But I was warned by his friend (a female sergeant in the Army) that his family was racist and my ex and his family never really associated with Blacks while growing up (his sister married into a redneck racist Mexican family...Yes there are lots of redneck racist Mexican families in San Antonio!!!

I was outside listening to a redneck White man and a Mexican guy drink Coronas and talk....The White guy was lamenting on how his girlfriend was hiding money from him--sounds like a C&W song doesn't it....They talked and drank for 15 minutes and then the Messican guy said "Hey man I am going upstairs...I have to take a shit".....I was the only female of the three people present outside and I was less than 20 feet away from them....Disgusting....I have so much disdain for San Antonio....These low-lives feel that they don't have to respect us....I bet he would have never said around a Mexican or White woman...And you wonder why SAN ANTONIO IS SUCH A TURNOFF TO BLACK WOMEN!!! ( Thank God I am leaving really soon.... ) They don't believe that Mexicans and Whites should marry Blacks... They even sound redneckish....Yes folks the Mexicans have "arrived"!!!) Black folks know what I mean by the term "arrive".....

Like a typical woman I thought I could change people's behavior to the point of even marrying into the situation.....The only people who were changed were me and my son--for the worse...I am a bitter shell of a person than I was before 1993...Back then I was much more happy and idealistic...It was idealism that brought me to their house in the first place...My son is frustrated and is having a hard time coping with the disappointment, coldness and detachment that occurs on his father's side of the family.....

My son's own great-grandfather gave his six kids away after his wife died in childbirth along with the seventh child...This man got away with what he did because he was extremely handsome and had a lot of Spanish (European) features...Yes...I have seen pictures of him.. This same man went on to re-marry and have nine more kids....This same man also owned a lot of land which he lost through gambling which we now know today as "Hemisfair Plaza" in San Antonio (SMH--pitiful!!!)....Yes his descendants could be wealthy right now....Hemisfair Plaza!!! Too bad you can't slap dead people!!!

I find it hard to believe in a so called "judgement"...How can you even judge people when a lot of the shit they do has a lasting effect on their descendants??? I mean my sister-in-law is still bitter concerning her grandfather and her father...Her grandfather is dead but not her father (my son's grandfather)...What does God do in these situations??? Take them out of some place and make them suffer when one of their descendants feels pain related to the sins of the relative that was committed when the relative was alive on earth??? Take for example if a relative is burning in Hell or even chilling in Heaven for that matter does God take him and put him into solitary confinement in the lower pits of Hell when a relative feels pain for some shit their daddy or granddaddy did while alive??? How does that work???

My sister -in-law refers to her grandfather as "a fucking ass-hole" and she downright hates her dad...My son's grandfather grew up as a homeless thug of a kid (his dad gave them away remember--he was the oldest child of the six) before joining the military at age 17 even after experiencing all of this in his youth he is still very cold, distant, and detached in his dealings with his own kids and grandkids--not to mention he is still bitter towards his wife who moved to Houston over 25 years ago....She said the man put her through hell....Pure drama in this family people......Sigh....When one marries into this family they can't help but get caught up in the drama.....

To this day my son and I are not really accepted in this family....Even my nieces and nephews don't call me "Aunt".....This makes for awkward situations because I don't know how to address relatives.....It just feels so weird.....

Next go around I am marrying White (like I should have done from the beginning) but only if his family is willing to accept me....I am not going through this drama, rejection, and coldness again!!! Most likely I am going to marry a Cajun....Maybe it is better if I just stuck to my own kind.....

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