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The Joys of Art

Sunday, August 31, 2003

YOUR CHATROOM PARTICIPATION HAS BEEN SUSPENDED...

TOSing folk, punting people out of chatrooms and bolting (in AOL's case) is for victims.....How can anyone online allow themselves to be victimized?!!! Unless you are foolish or naive enough to give out your address or phone number to a potential stalker there is no way you can be victimized in a fucking chatroom or on a message board...There are ignore features that you can use to "keep the peace"...To TOS , punt or "bolt" someone from a chatroom says a lot about YOUR CHARACTER---that you allow yourself to strike back in anger when faced with confrontation or opposing views...Typical George W. Bush mentality...Cowards!!! I pity the fool who hails TOSing , punting, or bolting as a victory...Shaking my fucking head...Thanks blogger for keeping it real!!!

Friday, August 29, 2003

OPPRESSION....

Oppression by Ben Harper

Oppression
you pray on us when we sleep
oppression
you chase after the tired the poor the weak
oppression
you know you mean only harm
oppression
you reach out with your long arm

but oppression
I won't let you near me
oppression
you shall learn to fear me

oppression
you seek population control
oppression
to divide and to conquer is your goal
oppression
I swear that hatred is your home
oppression
you just won't leave bad enough alone

but oppression
I won't let you near me
oppression
you shall learn to fear me

oppression
I don't see how you sleep
oppression
for your bleeding conscience I weep
oppression
you may have the dollar on your side
but oppression
from the gospel truth you cannot hide
and
oppression
I won't let you near me
oppression
you shall learn to fear me
oppression
I won't let you near me
oppression
you shall fear me


The pen will always be mighter than the sword...If we could ask the late Harry Bloom he would tell you the same....Harry Bloom was a South African Jew who spoke out against apartheid...His Book Transvaal Episode was published in 1956 and quickly became so controversial that he was arrested and thrown in jail for six weeks during a roundup of outspoken opponents of the government and subsequently had his passport cancelled....He was not able to travel to London in 1957 to receive the British Authors Club Award for having written his book (originally entitled Episode)...In 1963 his passport was restored and he moved to Great Britian....Well now Harry, it seems that you shook a few things up....We need more Harry Blooms and Sherron Waters (Enron) in this world....I found out that when you can effectively put words on paper you can make a lot of people "piss in their pants"....It is how I got out of the Army early....I encountered a lot of opposition (oppression) when I Permanently Changed Stations (PCS for the military folks)....Some military NCOs (Non-Comissioned Officers) didn't like me from the start and decided to label, stigmatize me and just plan make my life hell....Well I took it for a while, as they figured me not to be "too forth-coming" as my First Sergeant put it--in other words a wimp--who was going to just take what they dished out....Then I got smart as I had no other choice...I was bringing my son work with me for the 4:15 am blood drives and letting him sleep on a cot and then at 7:30 when most of the donor phlebotomy was done I'd take off and bring him to school...I wasn't even supposed to be working in the blood donor center but a NCO who was I was supposed to be working for in her section decided that she thought I was crazy upon first meeting me (she later told me that she had told the Sergeant major this) and then talked to the Lab Sergeant Major and had me sent down the donor center--which was notorious for forking 16+ hours a day and early morning blood drives even the civilian person who was in charge had said taht it was not a god policy to put single parents in that kind of working environment....But you know what they say---when you give a person enough rope they will eventually hang themselves....So I decided to fight fire with fire and it was a tough fight....My dad was diagnosed with lymphoma and my ex-husband was a long-haul trucker and on the road all the time so I basically had no workable family care plan....And that worked for me--as it was part of my plan to get out of the Army....Well it was also my First Sergeant's intention NOT to let me out--lack of family care plan or not....Meanwhile I had a divulge of people who decided since I was the First Sergeant's whipping girl they would join in on the festivities themselves--as I had no one in my corner.....Well my peers at the blood donor center then started asking to go home early before all the work was finished-- as I was put in a position where they had me finishing up all the computer stuff, paper work and donor components which actually had me working until 4 and 5 pm while all my peers were going home at around noon or 1 pm....Yeah I will let the whole world know when you do wrong!!! Can you say slavery and a violation of my civil rights (oppression)....They were deliberately tying to make my life hard because I was not submitting a family care plan and that basically made me "undeployable"...See they were shitting me over and I had all intentions of separating myself from service...And they had fun for a while....Until one of them slipped up and gave me something to go to the IG (Inspector General).....She (the E-7 who I was suposed to work for in her laboratory section) decided to have a round-table meeting and "read me my rights" that day...That is when she asked me if I had heard what she had said about me the first time she met me in the Sergeant Major's office when he was introducing me to her becuause I had just arrived on post and I was supposed to be working in her section of the lab....I guess she thought or was HOPING that the word would get back to me....i fet mentally raped that day....She said this. "Do you remember when I first met you in the Sergeant Major's office?? I told him that I thought you were crazy. I said Sergeant Major the is something wrong with her...I think she is crazy...She is not right...." We'll that day she not only informed me of her thought about me but she also called community mental health and arranged for me to be psychiatrically evaluated....Yes two days later she informed me of my impending appointment and I went down there....Now mind you if you know anything about the military--SHE WAS NOT PART OF MY CHAIN OF COMMAND....And that is where she hung herself...I went down there and was evaluated and even reported back to her--as she wanted to know what they said about me...I lied to her and told her that they said that I was crazy and that I had problems...LOL....Now keep in mind, the chain of command still doesn't know about this and this lab Sergeant Major had PCSed overseas so he was not privy to what I was later to do to "ole girl"....LOL....Little did she know that when she sent me down to community mental health--they HAD MY BACK!!! And when I went to the IG about all of them--I wanted to burn everyone in this little fiasco--the chain of command was sitting with "egg" on their face...."Ole girl" helped me get just what I wanted--out of the Army....LOL...And not only that but she did not put her self in a pretty position at that....In fact I had her and the First Sergeant so scared that when First Sergeant got all my paper work she personally walked it through and I was hard-ship discharged from the Army in two weeks....And this was the First Sergeant that said that she was not letting me out of the Army....Under NO circumstances was she letting me out--so I'd better prepare to stay in a long time...She also said that I'd better watch my step because she was looking to burn me...LOL...But I had some stuff on her also and I let the IG know that in two separate statements...Before I typed them up on computer I sat down and put them down in legal paper and they were FORTY PAGES hand written....Yeah!!! The pen be real mighty.....Especially when you have over 15 years in the military and some one starts making life hard for you....LOL....I could have gotten out and filed congressionals...I heard that someone was angry enough to do just that and my First Sergeant got relieved of her command...But I did warn her (because I wrote her a statement and let her know how I felt about the whole sordid tour of that post--the IG didn't get this statement)....I told her that she had better start listening to her soldiers...I know one thing, that E-7 who sent me down for that eval was one very happy camper ( I was told this--that she just wanted them to let me out and that she hoped that would just drop the issue and that I wouldn't press the issue after I got out--because I could have gone "congressional" and none of them could have touched me as a "civilian")...So that is what I did...I dropped the issued and took my Honorable Discharge and my DD-214 and my GI bill and I closed the door on that sordid chapter in my life....The pen is mighty, folks...

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

This is a test--- to see if this works....

This is a test--to see if i can make multiple blog entries in one day....

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Orlando Bloom is a love child!!!

I was shocked and fascinated to learn that Orlando Bloom and his sister are not really Harry Bloom's biological off spring...Many people have since gotten into the writings of late author, anti-apartheid activist, and lawyer Harry Bloom because of the connection to his son Orlando....Orlando was raised as Harry Bloom's son but he is in fact biological off spring of his mother and a male friend (Colin Stone) that came to live with her and Harry when Harry got terminally ill after suffering a stroke.....Life is fascinating....And here I have spent all my life trying to put MY life in such a pretty little box---to no avail....There are lessons to be learned here and not just the ones that fit into the neat little boxes....Man have I had some crack-brained delusions about life and love....I guess that is why I have really been into studying the lives of others lately....I spent so much of my life trying to be a "picture of perfection" and trying to be what my father wants me to be and I have failed miserably....I guess the lessons got out of this is that you CAN'T please PEOPLE all of the time so why try....I also came to the realization that life is too short to be trying to fit YOURS in a neat pretty little box....What I also got out of this is that life has a way of taking care of itself....Things have a way of working themselves out...Things happen for reasons and seasons and they are not necessarily the way we want or intend them to be....Many times they are not pretty , cute or rosy....Maybe it is time I lose some of the resentment that I feel for my ex-husband for not making me feel safe during the years of our marriage....After all, life is about over coming many things....Maybe it is about time I get over some of the disappointment that I feel about San Antonio, Texas.....Maybe it is time that I show them what a beautiful, Black, sexy woman can do WHEN given a chance....

Monday, August 04, 2003

Sunday, August 03, 2003

It ain't easy being a Black woman....

Society portrays us as being so unloveable, and so unworthy of affection. There are lots of 30-something single Black women out there who are "man-less"....There are a lot of single Black 30-something and older women who have never been married and who have never borne children....I was reading an article in today's Houston Chronicle and they had a section on how Black single women are choosing to have families via adoption instead of being alone...."Black single women choose family over solitude"...That is the name of the article...Sadly, there are many of us that sit home alone and with no spouse, mate, or lover.... Sitting home alone on a Friday night is painful even if you have a child...I mean that is a child....And your child can only relate to a degree...A child can't hold you when you feel like crying, and they can't make love to you when your body is aching from months and even years of longing for someone's touch...But this is effects of the negative socialization of today's media....They always try and portray Black women in an unfavorable light.....In 2001 over 51,000 children were placed in homes via public adoption. 30 percent were adopted by single women--56 percent of these single women were Black....Many of these single women are well-educated (Black women are entering college and obtaining degrees at the same rate as White men) and they own homes and value good schools and educational opportunities....But let the Yahoo messageboard tell it...Those mis-informed people would have you think that all Black women do is have kids and collect welfare checks....One of the people in the Houston Chronicle's article is a U.S. district judge....Only in America would you find a sucessful Black woman like her whose goals in life was always to balance a career with marriage and family and she has never been married!!! WTF!!! This woman should be the pick in anybody's race and ethnic group!!! Oh but no!!! See this is where negative socialization brought on by the media comes into play....See the OJs and the Kobe Bryants would rather go and find teenagers and waitresses than marry a sucessful black woman....Not that I am against interracial relationships...Not at all...I mostly date white men....But nowdays these black men won't even throw a glance your way....Pitiful....What that shows society is that they don't even think that own women worthy of looking at....Then how do we expect to even be found attractive by men of other races....And in San Antonio it is in full effect....Just watch how these women of other races snatch and grab at these Black military men....I go out and try and mingle and they cut you evil looks from the pits of hell....These mean-spirited women here will cut you evil looks even if you are talking to a Black man....I am like damn!!! Can't a sister get a man here?!! Why iz gotta be like that?!! I am starving here....I mean throw me a few morsels...." The majority of single Black women on my street are single and just keep to themselves...LOL...I think this is kinda ironic since I am more attracted to White men that I would be sounding like a Black woman who is waiting for the "chickens to come home and roost"...But San Antonio is no diverse town...Hell...Even the White men here don't really glance at you in this city....Unless you go down to the Riverwalk and there are mostly tourists down there...But I am looking for someone who is going to be there longer than the weekend.....

Saturday, August 02, 2003

Chick Flicks ... I like countless other women watch them when I get depressed...Wow...I'll be 36 next Friday and I think I am going through some sort of crisis... I would say this is a midlife crisis but that kinda scares and depresses the shit out of me....I have been acting straight up stupid lately....I mean I feel as though I have lost my fucking mind...Part of this stems from the fact that I have NEVER felt accepted in this city and part of this stems from the fact that yes I'll be 36 in a few days and I just feel so out of touch with the 20 year old crowd....Ok here is my situation and it is pathetic....Sigh....I have these incredibly cute neighbors...Two of them...One is Mexican who hails from California and the other one is from Spain with miles and miles of sexy blonde hair...Ya'll know my THING that I have lately for European men with sexy ass hair (ie Orlando Bloom)....At first I didn't have shit to do with either one of them....I mean if I saw them outside I'd stand outside and holler at them for a minute but that is all...Ya know...Something told me that it is "bad policy" to engage in intimate relationships with neighbors....But ya know sometimes you get a little "lonely"...So in that case they REALLY started looking good....Now did I have sex with them??? Nope I didn't....Another thing that bothered me is that todays 20 something year-olds have TOO many sexual partners...It seems as though when you have the hots for them and you don't readily give in to your feelings they will go out of their way to show you just how much they can get sex from someone if you are not willing to give in....That is just what happened...I am too old to be looking like a fool over some 20 something year old men....So I guess I'll just stay my ass on my own "turf"....